Sometimes I wake up absolutely terrified. Sometimes I wake up extremely excited. When I wake up with good feelings it is because I have something to look forward to.
This isn’t an article about one of those days.
Yesterday I woke up terrified.
Steven wrote an article about confrontation a while ago and I remember saying to him, ‘confrontation isn’t that bad. You just got to do what you got to do.’
But yesterday when I was faced with a situation, I was paralyzed with fear. There were knots in my stomach and a stone in my throat.
It is never easy when you’re in the situation yourself.
I was seeing the future. I would tell her and she’d throw things at me. Another scenario, she’d burst into tears and storm away, because now was a horrible time to break the news.
And there were a thousand more.
All the scenarios I imagined were terrible. No matter which way I looked at it, it ended horribly for her and I.
I psyched myself out, prolonged the inevitable and waited for the perfect moment.
I spent so much time worry about the outcome instead of being present. Future thinking solves nothing.
We all want to be fortunetellers and see our future, but when we try, it never really pans out exactly the way we hoped or didn’t.
When we ask ourselves a question, we give our brain the control.
Our brains are hardwired to come up with a million and one good and terrible scenarios and outcomes if we let it. But none of that matters in the end because only one can happen.
There is no possible way we can predict and prepare for that one. And if we try, we will be caught off guard.
And when faced, we are so ready to face the inevitable ‘horrible’ that we limit all the possible good scenarios that could have unfolded.
If we spent more time just be-ing and less time worrying, we would all be happier in the long run.
Eventually, I told her, ‘I know it’s a bad time, but I have to quit. I hope you understand.’
She was disappointed.
But all that ugly stuff never happened and everything worked out.
I learned a valuable lesson today. Spend less time in the future, and more time now. Now is the only time we can focus on and change. Now is the only time we should live in.
I hate disappointing people, but that was in the past.
Now, I am excited and ready for new circumstances and opportunities.