I am ugly. I have weird feet. My face is too round. My nose is slightly too big for my face. And I some back fat. This is who I am.
In a world where there is so much emphasis on beauty, personal expectations increase. People are meant to feel like they need to be a certain standard to be accepted by others.
As a result, we chase fad diets and extreme workout plans. We inject our faces with Botox and remove ribs to trim down our waists. We try to fight ourselves and chase an ideal of beauty that is unrealistic.
We are constantly consumed by thoughts of not being good enough—not enough for significant others, friends and, inevitably, ourselves.
We constantly beat ourselves, and slowly sink into darkness. We find new ways to be upset and, as our internal battle wage, our external world crumbles.
But what about the inside? No, I’m not referring to the muscles, blood vessels and bone; I’m referring to the intrinsic qualities that make an individual who they are.
The qualities that make the individual beautiful despite the weird feet and back fat.
I once dated a great looking girl that met the ‘standards’ of beauty. She had it all. But we never connected, not even once. We couldn’t have an intelligent or stimulating conversation.
It didn’t end well.
Knowledge is the sexiest quality I can ever imagine. Being able to teach and share intelligence brings the other amazing qualities out of individuals.
A person who is knowledgeable is also confident, charismatic, sharp and quirky. The more a person knows, the more comfortable they are in situations.
Knowledge is something that can never be taken away from us.
In the past, I never shared my story with others. I was a closed person that never developed any real or significant connections with others.
As a result, I struggled to connect with people on a deeper emotional level.
Empathy erupts when individuals are vulnerable. When we share, vulnerability follows.
I hate being vulnerable.
But sharing allows a clear path for empathy. As you share, others share. Empathy is the brainchild of vulnerability.
Everyone has a story. Use yours. Be beautiful.
I hold the firm belief in order to receive, we must first give. We must give selflessly without expectation and maybe something will come back to us.
But if nothing comes, we have to continue to give.
When I was in high school, my geography teacher said $10 buys a family in Africa a cow, clean water and food for a month.
Few people donated.
We can let go of money so easily on things we use once, things we don’t actually need and things to impress others. We can let go of $10 every morning on a bagel and a Grande Caramel Macchiato, but we can’t spare any for a cow, food and water for an entire month for someone in need?
I never donated money to that cause.
I was a struggling student.
But even if you are unable to be generous with money, be generous with compliments and advice. Be generous with love, affection and friendship. Be generous with gratitude.
Generosity compounds and leads to abundance later.
We are all ugly people. Even the prettiest people, no matter the surgeries, Botox and lifts, eventually turn ugly.
And eventually, beautiful or ugly, we all turn into dust. Chasing some sort of ideal that is presented to us, is the shortest route to dust.
If we want true fulfillment, happiness and beauty, it starts with the deep inner work. When we actively build and hone these qualities, we feel beautiful.
When we are smart, empathetic and generous, people recognize our beauty. We radiate with light and warmth.
Everything else is just crap. It’s just shit that people sell to you to make you feel like less.
Don’t buy it.
Be smart, be empathetic and be generous.