During my first serious relationship, I taught I was going to die. I remember laying in bed and wondering where I lost my way. Everything around my life was crumbling and I couldn’t cope.
I had all these clashing feelings in my body, but I didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t know how sift through all the noise in my head.
I relive the moments where I was wandering my high school aimlessly. I felt like an emotion-drained zombie, desperately searching for a light that didn’t exist.
In my own head, only two options rang: Run away or die.
I ran away.
Years later, old memories resurfaced as I caught myself in the same situation in a different relationship.
I could have chosen to run away again. But, I’ve realized that when you choose to run away, whatever you’re running from eventually catches up. You could death, but no one wants that.
However, this time was very different. I knew what I wanted and I knew how to deal with it. I realized there aren’t just two options. There is a prospective third.
Better than both, there lies ‘grow.’ You can choose to learn about yourself, learn what you want out of life, and work towards that ideal.
You can choose to outgrow your circumstances and push forward towards new ones. You possess the ability to grow.
If you don’t grow, you die. About 10 billions cells die every single day in your body. Imagine if your body wasn’t constantly regenerating itself? You would die.
If you don’t grow as a person, you will be cemented in your current situation and slowly melt away. If you don’t grow, you might as well just choose death. It’s one and the same.
Answer the fundamental questions about your current situation and your life in general. If you’re unhappy with your work, your relationships, or yourself, make changes.
People get caught up in the idea of ‘finding light at the end of the tunnel.’
Most people keep in their current situation and hope for that light. That light will never ever be given to you. Hoping for a light is a lost cause. No one will ever hand you a candle.
It’s up to you to craft your own light in the dark. Only you have the power to grow and change your life.
Sadly, you also have the power to wallow and blow out the candle. The people that choose to wallow, almost always have regrets.
They regret spending too much time at a dead-end job; they regret marrying someone they don’t love; they regret not being more for their families and friends. Regrets will build up, until you’re surround on your deathbed.
I wish I knew then, what I know now. There is always a third option. You have the power.
Run away, die, or grow.
Be bold, be free, and love on.