Replace your have with a want.

Self talk

I have to write this article. Don't get me wrong, I love writing, but I have deadlines and sometimes I'm caught in a rush.

I completely forgot that I had to write an article for Friday instead of Sunday from now on.

So I add it to my 'have to do' list.

But that list can be scary.

I have to do my Spanish lesson, I have to meditate, I have to come up with my ten ideas today, I have to write a 2HelpfulGuys video, I have to go to the gym, I have to, I have to, I have to...

When I get into this mode of thinking it's no wonder I become stressed.

I enjoy doing all of these things. They are the kind of activities I want to be doing for the rest of my life.

So why do I feel this immense pressure when I think about them?

Change your language to change your life.

A while ago a wrote an article about replacing the word should with the word could. That way you see things more as opportunities instead of obligations.

Since then I've been contemplating the language I use in my self talk. What am I saying to myself and how is it affecting the way I perceive my daily life?

I realized that this whole time I have been saying "I have to" and it has been giving all of my actions an overtone of pressure and responsibility.

Where did all the fun go!?

I worry that one day I'll accomplish everything I want but I will be wandering around the streets grabbing people and yelling "where did all the fun go!? Do you ever have fun? Why do I hate my life!?"

That probably won't happen, but I still can't help feeling the pressure of a long "Have to do" list.

Replace your "Have to" with a "Want to."

If these are all things that I enjoy doing, then why do I think about them using the same words as when I have to go to work? Or when I have to clean the toilets in my house?

Toilets are disgusting, but I love meditation.

From now on I am going to put in big bold letters at the top of my to-do list "Today I want to..."

That way, I'll always subconsciously know that these things are my passions. They are what keeps me balanced. They are what brings joy and progression into my life.

I don't have to do these things. I want to.

This is my plea to you.

Watch your words, they dictate how you perceive your world.

Don't say you have to play with your kids. Say you want to.

Don't say you have to take your mother out for coffee, say you want to.

When you want to do something it feels like a choice, and one that you enjoy. When you have to do something it makes you feel as if you are at the whim of outside forces.

Sometimes you do 'have' to do things.

That's fine. We all need to do things we don't enjoy.

But save that language for your chores, not for the things that move you forward in life.

And not for the things that make life worth living.

I had to wanted to write this article today.

And I enjoyed every minute of it.

As always, I'll see you next Sunday Friday.