The walking tired

I am a zombie. Well I'm not actually a zombie, but right now I feel like the living dead.

It is that time of year again, the weather is getting warmer and everything is blooming. Including my social life.

During the winter this year I turned into a bit of a hermit. I experienced some really big changes in my life before the closing of last year and this greatly impacted how 2014 would start for me.

I felt like the six million dollar man, except I was rebuilding myself. Better, faster, stronger and smarter. Hopefully.

zombie tired

I was in love with my brand new way of being.

I was waking up early, working out more, eating breakfast, and taking small steps every day towards a future I could be happy with.

But it is a lot easier to lead this kind of lifestyle in the winter. No one wants to go outside and hang out, it's freaking could out there.

Now that spring is here everything in blooming, my social life is no exception.

So why am I a zombie?

A blooming social life means drinks and staying out late. I'm not saying that I don't enjoy spending this time with close friends and meeting new people, but it is hard to strike a balance and avoid sacrificing productivity.

As I write this I have a wicked hang over and I just woke up from a nap at 6pm.

Sometimes I am so confused.

The world gives you conflicting messages. I'm always reading quotes saying "Don't do anything you don't love." and "Enjoy the now!"

But then I see quotes saying "You have to think about your future with each step you take."

If I spend all of my time enjoying the present, I might sacrifice the future I want for myself. But if I only focus on the future, I'm afraid I'll look back and hate the fact that I never stopped and smelled the roses.

I usually have some lesson or advice to give in these posts, but not today.

I honestly don't exactly know what to do. I don't like saying no to people and a part of me doesn't even want to say no. But I feel as though I have to start saying no every once and a while or it will be extremely difficult to accomplish my goals this summer.

If anyone reads this and has advice for me, please feel free to throw it at me.

I haven't hit a balance yet, but as long as I keep these thoughts in mind I will be able to pull myself out before I get into a phase.

For now, I will be a bit of a zombie. I'll just try to keep my brain intact.