When I was in elementary school, there was this kid, my friend. For confidentiality, let us call him Q (I very recently watched James Bond, but completely irrelevant). Anyways, Q had everything. He was good looking; he had money, friends and, the cherry on the cake, any girl to his liking. He was somewhat of a king at my elementary school.
He had his birthday party (I can’t remember which one) at his house. He lived in this massive house with archways, pillars and the whole shebang. We ran around and played with his home laser tag set and dined on homemade tacos. I was brimming with jealousy.
Every night I would go to bed, hoping to wake up in his house, in his bed, in his shoes. I would dream that I was him, surrounded by a mountain of money, girls and friends. I wanted the same fate. Why was I born in this life and him in that? I couldn’t comprehend it.
The jealousy grew inside me and slowly turned into hate and loathing for the world and for him. Before long, that was the only thing I could think of. It consumed me, occupied all my time and distracted me.
Jealousy always comes from a place of insecurity. I was incredibly insecure with myself. I did not feel comfortable in my own skin, I had trouble making friends, and I just felt different.
A) Be Sherlock Holmes
You have to identify where the jealousy is coming from. For me, it came from a lack of physical and emotional control. I felt like I did not have any control of my emotions or actions. It was almost like I was a soulless drone.
There could be one or a multitude of reasons behind your feelings. Be like Sherlock Holmes and connect all the pieces together into an intricate picture. Your lifeblood is at stake here. The circumstances are large.
B) Address it Head On
Approach the person or just do it internally. I don’t know where Q is now, but I never confronted him with my envy. I idled by until high school separated us.
Instead, I identified it internally. I wrote down what made me jealous and why. I’ve found that writing it down helps me analyze thoughts. I had to stop comparing myself to others. I still constantly do that and it is a terrible flaw.
Most people are trapped with the green-eyed monster because they fail to confront it. Instead, they let it fester and grow. Confronting the situation will kill that monster.
C) It Does Not Change Your Circumstances
Envying someone does not have any bearing on you. It just progressively puts you in a more depressed and anxious state. It just pushes you further from your goals.
Being jealous of material possessions does not make it easier for you to attain it. You do not need the latest iPhone or that 80-inch SMART television. But if you do want something, go and get it.
The only thing stopping you is your jealousy.
D) You are Amazing
You have to realize that you are amazing the way you are. You are different, but then again everyone is different. Different is by no means bad.
I view the difference as unique. I am not different. I am unique. The green-eyed monster cannot take hold if you believe that you are unique. With uniqueness comes a whole new set of ideas.
Maybe you want a better nose, but the nose you have now is great. It’s unique; it has a little point to it. It’s cute.
I don’t have mountains of money, girls, and friends but that doesn’t matter anymore. Envying someone that has that just pushes me further away from my goals
I have let jealously control my actions and thoughts for far too long. It is time I let go and focused on myself.
If you have any personal methods to overcome jealousy, please leave your comments below.