I've never told anyone this, but I have an alter ego. When I rip off my shirt I have a giant "O" on my chest. I am Captain Obvious, because I am one hundred percent sure that you already know what I am about to tell you. I know, it's not as exciting as the super hero I met last week.
Some people are lousy.
From head to toe some people are just horrible. My friend calls them "Unsavory" which is fitting because after you experience a lousy person you have this disgusting aftertaste in your mouth. BLEH. Nasty.
There are many different ways that people can be lousy to you. People will lie to you, cheat you, ditch you, and even hate on you. People would snatch the gum right out of your mouth if you yawned in front of them.
It can be hard to deal with these people.
No matter what you do, it seems you always get the short end of the stick and they don't give a damn. The worst part is that sometimes this person is awesome and they have just one really crappy personality trait. How can you justify hating them then?
So how do you deal with these people? How can you fix the problem with the least possible amount of stress and negative emotion?
Every time you are angry or frustrated with someone you are allowing them to take up a bit of your mental energy.
They are just fine, thinking about whatever lousy things they are thinking about, and you are sitting around stewing in your anger. You must change the way you think about the whole situation.
"If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it." -Mary Engelbreit
One of my biggest pet peeves is being ditched. I loathe people who say they are going to do something and then bail at the last minute. I have a couple friends like this. Hell, I have lost some friends because of it. I liked them a lot, I just got tired of being dissapointed. Now I don't even get to enjoy the random conversations we would have had.
You have to realize this is the way that person is.
Once they have shown that side of themselves, you can't be surprised when it happens again.
If you know they are a liar, don't put stock in anything they say. If you know that they ditch people all the time, you can still ask them to come out, but don't get your hopes up. You are angry because you refuse to see the pattern and you have unrealistic expectations. You are lying to yourself.
I still become a little upset the first time someone shows a lousy side of themselves, but after that I adjust. I'm not saying that if someone does something lousy that you have to stop talking to this person, I'm actually advocating the opposite. Just realize that not all people are perfect and you shouldn't expect anything more than who they are.
The closer you get to seeing the clear picture of this person, the more you should adjust the role you allow them to play in your life; how much of you mental space you allow them to take up. If someone is lousy make sure you don't hinge much of you happiness on them.
There are a lot of lousy people out there and a lot of people have lousy qualities.
I'm not perfect. In fact I have spent most of my life being the crappiest person I know. I doubt you are perfect either.
So, if you know that you have lousy traits, why expect anyone else to be free of blemishes. They just have different imperfections than you.
Life is all about moderation.
Give everyone an equal chance. Speak ill of no one. Minimize those that drain you and expand on those that empower you. Never dwell on the negatives and never let negative people drag you into the mud.
Allow people to play whatever role they play in your life, though the great part is that you get to choose how big that role is.
After all, you are the director of your life. Don't let it be a lousy one.